This post was adapted from my post originally posted on my publication, Simple Faithful Motherhood, on Substack.

Dear First-Time Mama,

Welcome to motherhood. You’re in the messy, beautiful, sleepless trenches of the newborn stage, and it’s okay if you’re feeling overwhelmed.

That’s not because you’re failing — it’s because being a first-time mum is hard. I won’t sugarcoat it for you, but I also won’t leave you without hope.

There’s no denying that this is the hardest thing you’ll ever do in your life, for the rest of your life. You’re not being dramatic, you’re not crazy, you’re not lousy at this mothering gig. Becoming a mother, especially for the very first time, is some holy level of hard (and I’m not using the word “holy” to curse).

If you’re still in the fog of those freshly postpartum days, just struggling to recover physically, you might be wondering: what exactly is hard?

Let me break it down for you, but in the most loving, gentle, and real way I can.

Feeding Your Newborn Without the Guilt

Breastfeeding is complicated, mama. There’s so much messaging out there to persuade you that “breast is best.” Scientifically speaking, yes, breastmilk is ideal — but please take the facts and not the guilt.

You’re going to want to quit, many many times. But you’ll also try so hard. And when you finally do stop, know this: every single you gave your baby mattered. It was never too little. Whether your baby was fed from your breast, a bottle, or a mix of both, you fed your baby, and that’s what counts.

Here’s an account I found educational, entertaining and encouraging in those early pumping months.

Newborn Sleep: Why You’re So Exhausted

Your sleep (and your husband’s) is going to be so broken in these early postpartum weeks that you might as well not have slept at all.

Baby will wake up crying for all sorts of reasons, all day and night, and you’ll be desperately trying to figure out what he needs. Is it a soiled diaper? Is he hungry, again? Is he too cold? Too hot?

Between pump schedules, feed times, wake windows, and trying to get anything else done, you’ll soon find you’re living in three-hour intervals. Hang in there. It’s gonna be a while, but it will get better.

Here’s my favourite resource for all things baby sleep.

Postpartum Anxiety Is Real (And You’re Not Alone)

You might find yourself tensing up over visitors’ grabby hands bringing germs, and feeling like a prick for asking them to please wash their hands first. You’ll wake up in the night to check if baby’s still breathing. You’ll worry about suffocation hazards in the cot. You’ll fret over ensuring baby gets enough tummy time during the day. You’ll stress whether contact napping will ruin their sleep habits (spoiler: it’s not).

And then there are the external pressures: filtering through advice from friends, family, and social media. Fielding out-of-place comments from the in-laws. Planning that customary full-month party we Asians feel pressured to host.

No, you’re not overreacting. Yes, all of this combined is overwhelming. Trim away any excess that doesn’t serve you or your baby. Protecting your newborn’s safety and your mental health is not selfish — it’s survival.

How Motherhood Changes Your Marriage

Oh mama, you’ll find triggers and landmines you never knew existed. Before baby, you barely argued. Now, suddenly, you’re snapping at each other over tiny things like:

“This milk is too hot.”

“You have to swaddle tighter.”

Every conversation feels like logistics.

You’ll need to learn how to stay a team with your husband, even though you’ll often have wildly different opinions on how to do things for your baby.

And sometimes, in those quiet 3 a.m. hours, you’ll glare across the bed at your blissfully sleeping husband and briefly contemplate murder. You’ll shake that thought away — because baby needs his mother (I joke, I joke).

For resources on building a strong marriage after birth, I recommend this account.

Mama, Survival Is Enough

If all you did today was simply survive, then bless your tired, beautiful heart. That was enough. It’s hard not because you’re failing, it’s because you know this matters. The degree of how hard it feels is the same as the depth of your love. That, mama, is holy, sacrificial love.

So here’s my prayer for you: that you’ll get a little more sleep (even if it’s just five minutes). That you’ll truly, fully enjoy those snuggles and cuddles. That you’ll rock your baby to sleep without worrying what a textbook or relative says about it being a “bad sleep prop”. And that the kindest, most understanding people will send practical help your way.

You are doing a good job. You really are.

You’re Not Alone in This Postpartum Season

If you’re in the thick of it right now, juggling sleep deprivation, feeding struggles, and the new dynamic in your marriage — please remember you’re not failing. You’re adjusting to the most life-changing role you’ll ever have.

Every new mother has moments where she wonders if she’s cut out for this. The fact that you’re even asking the question shows how much you care.

And the truth is — God has called you to motherhood, and He will equip you for this.

If you need more encouragement, practical tips, and faith-filled reminders to get you through the newborn stage, check out my other related posts and follow along

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