This post was originally posted on my publication, Simple Faithful Motherhood, on Substack.

It happens almost every night.

I do bedtime with my toddler, accidentally fall asleep with him, then wake up two hours later — groggy, disoriented, and now annoyed that I’ve lost two good hours, which led me to wonder… what did I do all day?

On top of that, I found myself asking the same question I’ve asked so many nights before:

Why do I feel so exhausted, yet so unproductive?

The Invisible Work of Motherhood

Before I became a stay-home-working mother, I worked in a fast-paced Christian organization. Back then, I could look back on my day and easily list off accomplishments:

Back-to-back meetings
A full rehearsal
Dozens of emails replied to
Overseeing new equipment installations
Pastoral care with a team member

It was easy to justify my tiredness because I could see the results. KPIs were met. Goals were ticked off. My busyness felt important.

Now? My daily “list” looks very different. and these days, it’s more often the case I’m staring at a list of undones.

“I knew the career tradeoff is well worth this season of being present for my kid. So why was I looking down on the things I did in a day, and why was I feeling so much discontent?”

Here’s one from a typical day in my life:

Stopping by the supermarket after school drop-off
A little work for my part-time job before school pick-up
Fielding a thousand toddler questions when my son’s home from school
Preparing meals between interruptions and meltdowns
Making beds and tidying around the house

None of these would ever make it onto a résumé. But I knew each item mattered. I’ve traded KPIs for kisses, and strategy meetings for snack negotiations. I know the career pause tradeoff is well worth this season of being as present as possible for my kid.

So why was I feeling so much discontent? Why the nagging feeling that I’ve done nothing, when my day is actually full of little acts of care and service?

Catching The Foxes

Maybe the problem isn’t what I’m doing. It’s my heart posture.

Song of Solomon 2:15 [1] talks about “little foxes that ruin vineyards”. For me, those foxes are small, sneaky thieves that creep in and steal my joy before I even notice.

After some reflection, I realised I’ve been dealing with three in particular: control, comparison, and complacency.

The First Fox: Control

This fox shows up when I forget that God is a good Father who knows my needs.

When fear or anxiety take over, I try to “manage” my way into peace — thinking that if I just do more, I can guarantee the outcomes I want.

But motherhood isn’t a project plan. My child isn’t a to-do list item. Letting go of control means releasing the tight grip and trusting God with the outcomes.

The Second Fox: Comparison

“Each question adds weight to a hammer of lies, beating down my identity. But these are whispers from the enemy, not the tender voice of God.”

For me, comparison often starts with an innocent scroll on social media… and ends with my questioning my worth. And it sounds like this:

“How come this mum can cook so well?”

“Why am I not more creative like her?”

“She runs a business and homeschools five kids… what am I even doing with my life?”

Each question adds weight to a hammer of lies, beating down my identity. But these are whispers from the enemy — not the tender voice of God.

The Third Fox: Complacency

This fox is the sneakiest of all. Because it’s not outright laziness that’s my problem, but a slow drifting away from how I should be intentional and disciplined about my time. It’s where bad habits kick me into auto-pilot mode, like:

Skipping quiet time “just for today” to get ahead on tasks… until months pass without opening my Bible
Saying yes to every urgent thing without pausing to set real priorities
Distractions: picking up my phone for “just five minutes”… until I’ve lost 45 minutes scrolling.
Constantly reacting instead of preparing so my time ends up hijacked by the loudest need.

Complacency leaves me busy but aimless. Moving, but not moving forward.

What We Can Do About The Little Foxes

There’s good news. These foxes can be caught. Here are some practical handles I’ve implemented that I found helpful:

1 - Practice daily surrender

Start each morning with a simple prayer, “Lord, guide me today.”
Write down everything that’s flooding your mind, i.e. brain dump, then circle just 1-3 priorities for the day. Surrender the rest of the to-do list.
When plans change, pause and remember: even now, God is in control.

2 - Guard your inputs

Take regular breaks from social media or unfollow accounts that trigger feelings of envy.
Replace scrolling habits with a new habits: reading, observing your environment, listening to worship music or a sermon
Practice encouragement over envy: celebrate another mum’s wins out loud by commenting a kind word or texting her directly — gratitude for others shrinks envy’s power.

3 - Build intentional habits

Start your day with a calm, centering routine (even 5 minutes quiet time in God’s Word matters)
Do the important things in your day first before other things crop up
Prepare each night for the next day (bags packed, breakfast planned)

The Work Mothers Do Is Valuable, Even When It’s Invisible.

The work we do as mothers is real, good and valuable. Even more so when it feels invisible and the to-do list still has unchecked boxes (when is it ever complete?).

If all you did today was keep your little one fed, safe, and loved — that’s no small thing.

But if you, like me, feel that small nudge that something’s off, that maybe our time is being pulled in directions that aren’t helpful, maybe that unease — that sense of discontent — is God gently guiding us to examine our heart posture together.

And maybe we’ll find that some little foxes have crept in. Control, comparison, and complacency. They’re sneaky, but they don’t have to stay.

A Prayer Before You Go

Lord, You see the unseen work. Thank you for calling this work of motherhood worthy, even when I’ve made it feel small. Search my heart, God, and show me where I’ve held too tightly, where my desire for control has replaced my trust in You, where comparison has blurred my purpose, stolen my joy and dented my worth, and where complacency has lulled me into living in distraction and reaction mode. Help me to spot and catch these little foxes that sneak around in the vineyard of my heart. In everything, help me to walk in step with You and labour in this season to please You. Amen.

Footnotes:

[1] “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards, for our vineyards are in blossom.” — Song of Solomon 2:15 (ESV)

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