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Hey mama friends,

Let me preface this by saying I wanted to title this post, “How I learned to enjoy spending time with my son”, which I thought was rather odd, because… Shouldn’t spending time with my kiddo be something that comes naturally? Something naturally enjoyable? To be really honest, I struggled with this for a period of time. I would wake up everyday wondering “Gosh, I have another full, long day with my son at home. Whatever are we going to do? This is a really boring life.” Those are the thoughts I would have.

The Struggles of Being a Stay-Home Mother

I felt understimulated and overstimulated all at the same time. My son was a younger bub then, almost but not yet a toddler, barely just learned how to walk. He was full of tantrums and unpredictable emotions, and he was still early in his days of learning to play independently.

Needless to say, he was very, very needy. He needed my attention - constantly. I couldn’t even go to the toilet without him pulling at my leg, wanting to always be right next to me. I tried to cook meals at home to nourish my family, but it was difficult to get any cooking in. I was always so frustrated at dinner prep time. I had to be creative with my cooking skills so that I could prep our meals quickly.

“Other than cooking adventures and household chores, life was painfully slow.”

Other than cooking adventures and household chores, life was painfully slow. Compared to the life I had in a fast-paced, high-performance Christian organization job prior to becoming a mother, my days were crawling at a snail pace now. I used to rush from venue to venue, meeting to meeting, and although my days at work were stressful and challenging, I was always learning something new.

Now, at home with my son, I felt stuck.

I would count down the hours in the morning until nap time. And then, I would get impatient with my son if he wasn’t falling asleep for his afternoon nap. After nap time, I would count down the hours until my husband got home from work. Oh finally! Someone to relieve me of childminding duties. Finally, a chance to hand off the baby and go do something for myself for once today. Finally, a chance to take a shower in peace and quiet, another adult I could have an actual conversation with.

Yet, even though I was grateful that my husband was so hands-on, bitterness and resentment was slowly taking root in my heart towards him. I was thinking thoughts like, “You get to go out and about like a free person, while I’m stuck with the baby all day. You can take a break whenever you need in your day, but I just can’t catch a break.” I felt sorry for myself, and I couldn’t see the beauty of the life I had right before my eyes.

A Gradual Change of Heart

But slowly, that all began to change.

I won’t say that I had a pivotal aha moment which caused things to turnaround overnight. It was a gradual change, a growth journey of the heart as I grew along with my growing baby boy.

I learned to involve my son in the daily household chores, for example. We bought a toddler tower, or some know it as a kitchen helper – essentially, it’s one of those step-ladder looking things that allow your toddler to come up to kitchen counter height so that they can get their hands into “helping” mama.

I figured out little things I could let him do and keep him busy while I prepped our meals - like picking grapes off their stems, or washing fruit in a bowl of water. As he grew taller, and developed his fine motor skills, he was starting to really help. He would help with mixing batter for our bakes, pouring ingredients in, handing me cutlery and kitchen tools. Eventually, he was even able to cut pieces of food with his safety knife that a neighbour gifted us. Kitchen moments became shared moments that I deeply enjoyed, and a great chunk of our days were spent in the kitchen.

Developing Anchoring Rhythms and Routines for Daily Life

“It wasn’t only mama who had to learn to be patient with bubba. My son had to tolerate my mistakes and messes, too.”

I also learned to develop anchoring rhythms and routines for our days. For example, a staple of our daily routine would be morning walks and stopping by the playground. It did us both a world of wonder to get outside as often as possible, and my son enjoyed the daily sights and sounds of the neighbourhood.

I still remember how we would find interesting leaves on these walks and bring them home. My son loved holding on to his leaves while sitting in the stroller, and that always got a smile from passing strangers. I think he looked adorable waving his leaves in the air. We even started a pine cone collection.

Growing Confident in Mama-and-Bubba Excursions

Eventually, I grew more and more confident taking my son out on excursions by myself. I’d take him to the aquarium and other places of interest, to go shopping at the mall, for picnics by the harbourfront, and once I even took him on a beach day out – all by myself, complete with full logistics, barang barang and stuff!

A Themed Approach For Every Day of the Week

Then I started developing a themed approach to each week. I would designate each day to have a theme. Monday was bake days, Tuesday was art and crafts, Wednesday was visiting grandparents, Thursday was library, and Friday was excursion. With a rotation system going, our days filled up with fun and variety.

Above all, I learned how to enjoy spending time with my son.

I truly soaked up the moments where we made memories together, explored new places, and learned how to be patient with one another. Yes, it wasn’t only mama who had to learn to be patient with bubba. My son had to tolerate my mistakes and messes, too.

When My Son Entered Preschool

Before we knew it, it was time for him to enter preschool. I resumed working in a part-time job that allows me to work flexible hours from home so that I could bring him home from school early.

“Striking that delicate balance of getting involved with the things my son loved to do — while getting him involved in the things I loved to do — served me well in this season.”

I realized that all those months of muscle-building for learning how to sit with boredom, lean into the ordinary days and find beauty in the mundane, and striking that delicate balance of getting involved with the things my son loved to do, while getting my son involved in the things I loved to do – served me well for this season of preschool. I sometimes look back with a tinge of nostalgia at photos of our outings together, wishing for those long and so-called “boring” days again.

These days, he’s home at 4pm. He spends more time at school than he does at home on any given weekday. I’m so glad he enjoys school.

“What Do You Do With Your Son After He’s Home From School?”

There was a period of time, interestingly, when I kept getting asked what I do with my son all day when he’s home from school. When I first got asked that question in person — what do you do with him after school? — I fumbled. Part of me wanted to say something impressive, for all those months of learning to love my stay-home-mum life, I thought I would have a great answer, like: Oh, we did some amazing handicrafts, a little home learning, I taught him to read, and then we did sensory play. Because these were (and still are) the things I look up to as the epitome of time well spent between mother and child.

But the reality? Most days, we just do very ordinary things.

Sometimes he shadows me while I vacuum or fold laundry. Sometimes we flop onto a beanbag and stare at clouds through the window. Sometimes he presses his nose against the glass, watching cars and people pass below.

And other times, inspiration strikes, and we make up our own ridiculous games. Like pretending we’re chefs in a no-star fusion restaurant where he serves me strawberry-chilli dessert and biscuits with dim sum on the side. Or we stack toilet paper rolls into bowling pins and roll whatever balls we can find at them.

“Rhythms anchor our day, and rhythms provide so much sanity to our home and family life.”

Some days, we might bake. Or paint. Or make the most un-musical music on my keyboard and his toy tambourine. And other days, we just head to the playground and while away a good couple of hours.

There’s no schedule, no master plan. But there are rhythms that anchor our day, and rhythms provide so much sanity to our home and family life, but more on that for another post. Our activities ebb and flow — between doing something, random things and sometimes even doing nothing.

And amazingly, it’s in the “doing nothing” that I’ve learned the most.

I’ve learned how to sit with my son and just be. To just enjoy his presence, cuddle together (if he’ll want cuddles), and let him take the lead. Or even let him figure out to do when he’s bored. I’ve learned that boredom is not the enemy. I’ve learned that the best connection often comes not from curated activities but from simply sharing time together, however ordinary.

“I’ve learned that boredom is not the enemy... that the best connection often comes not from curated activities, but from simply sharing time together, however ordinary.”

And I’ve come to see that’s nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it’s a luxury. To spend slow afternoons together, in a world that’s always spinning in a frantic hurry.

To the Mamas Who Feel Stuck at Home

Now, if you’re reading as a busy mum, I want to pause here and say: I get it.

If family time is the few short hours after you’re home from work and before bedtime, I know how precious that time can feel, and also how pressured you could feel to make the most of that time together. It’s hard to make more time out of time you probably feel you don’t have, and you’re probably yearning for ways to simplify your schedules and slow down the pace of your family life.

But I want to speak to the mamas who feel stuck at home, with your little ones, wondering how you’ll get through another day of mundane home life. Spending time with our kids can sometimes feel boring. Playing with cars or magnetic tiles for the tenth time isn’t exactly stimulating when our brains are used to emails, deadlines, or the dopamine hit of scrolling.

So here’s what I want to offer from my own journey - a few things I’ve learned:

Ordinary is enough. Your kids don’t need you to plan Pinterest-worthy crafts every day. Folding laundry together or sitting by the window counts.
Boredom is a gift. When we resist the urge to fill every moment, boredom creates space — space for imagination, for conversation, for slowing down.
Connection matters more than activity. Whether you’re baking cookies or just cloud-watching, what your child remembers is that you were there with them and you truly enjoyed them.
Redefine “productive.” In early motherhood, productivity doesn’t always look like a to-do list checked off. Actually, your to-do list is going to look like a lot of undones! Sometimes the most important thing you can do is just be present.

Intentional Motherhood vs. Lazy Motherhood

Now — I need to add this, because I don’t want this message to be mistaken for a free pass to lazy motherhood.

When I talk about “doing nothing,” I don’t mean ignoring our kids or checking out / zoning out while they fend for themselves. This isn’t about disengaging.

There’s a big difference between zoning out on our phones while they wander off versus choosing to be present in the ordinary, even boring, moments. And we’re going to have so many of these ordinary, boring moments in their childhood.

“Intentional motherhood is a discipline of slowing down to notice and engage at our child’s pace instead of always rushing them into ours.”

I’m talking about intentional motherhood. The point is, you’re with them. You’re available. You’re showing them that your presence is steady and safe, even when nothing flashy is happening.

So “doing nothing” isn’t laziness. Intentional motherhood is actually a discipline — a choice to slow down, to notice, to engage at your child’s pace instead of always rushing them into ours.

Practical Takeaways

So, how can you enjoy motherhood more in this season?

Lower the bar. Stop putting pressure on yourself to entertain. Ordinary “boring” days are beautiful.
Lean into being present. Your child isn’t grading you on how fun and full your schedule is. They just want you.
Notice the joy in slowness. Look for the sweetness hidden in the pauses — the way their little hands stack blocks, the way their eyes widen at something you’ve said, the way they giggle at something you didn’t even think was funny. This doesn’t come naturally at first, but with practice, I promise you, you’ll see so many of these sweet moments tucked away into the moments throughout your day.
Let your schedule breathe. Give yourself permission to not fill the afternoon with activities. Resist the urge to fill an empty slot of time. Sometimes, in the unscheduled, that’s when the magic sneaks in.

So, the next time someone asks me, “What do you do with your child after school?” I think I’ll smile and say: “We did nothing.”

Because in the doing of nothing, a lot was done.

From my heart, as a mommy content creator:

Even as someone who shares about motherhood online, I want to be so careful not to hold up a picture-perfect ideal for you to follow.

I never want to give you the impression that I’ve figured it out — or worse, that this is the standard and you should strive to meet it.

What I share isn’t a blueprint or a how-to manual for godly motherhood. It’s just my simple journey as I try to follow Christ in this season. If anything, I hope my life doesn’t say, “Be like me”… but “come, let’s be like Him.”

DID YOU FIND THIS HELPFUL?

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