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Hey mama friend,

If you’ve ever wrestled kids into Sunday clothes, sighed at the thought of one more Friday night commitment, or wondered whether all this “showing up” in church really makes sense when you end up just pacing the hallways anyway, today’s post is a breath of fresh air chock full of encouragement for you.

There’s something quietly powerful about watching a family choose to keep showing up — even when the week has wrung them dry, the kids are melting down, and the lure of staying home in comfy shorts instead of going to church on Sunday is strong.

That family belongs to my dear friend Rachel, my friend of over two decades (!!), a mum of three in the thick of a full on season, who shared how her family has learned to stay rooted in and committed to their spiritual community, even when it’s inconvenient, messy, or sometimes just downright exhausting.

Her honesty and heart for discipleship reminded me that community isn’t another item on our to-do list… it’s the place God meets us and shapes us in very real ways.

This interview-style guest post by Rachel is a golden one, ladies.

Q1: Hey Rachel, thanks for writing this post! For those who don’t know you yet, could you share a little about yourself and your family?

Hi there! I am a mum to Noah (9), Eva (6) and Sophia (6) — 3 primary schoolers in about a month’s time! My husband, Johann and I will be celebrating our 13th wedding anniversary next month. We count it a privilege and certainly do not take it for granted to be raising our kids (3rd generation) in our home church — a church that both Johann and I have been born and raised (literally and spiritually).

Q2: Tell us what a typical week looks like in your home: what season of motherhood are you in right now?

Definitely full on! Haha. Having a primary schooler and twins as well as working full-time (am I crazy?) can be logistically chaotic! Imagine multiple school and work dropoffs for Johann and the arrangement of after school carers for them. We are very thankful for the availability of grandparents who also see their role as a calling because we wouldn’t survive without them! Weekends are filled with different classes, meeting friends and family for meals and church. Please empathize with us if we double book an appointment or two even though we have gotten into the rhythm and are generally organised!

One thing we have realised is that all our 3 children are very different and we do want to allow them to explore and grow in their individual strengths and interests — this then poses the very real challenge of multiple schedules to juggle and adjust to each of their unique needs! Life is never boring in the Tay household!

Q3: What role has faith and church community played in your life as a mum so far?

Our faith and community have anchored us throughout this season and even before I became a mum. I guess it started from the foundation that was built — our church family means so much to us in terms of practical support, prayer support and just encouraging each other to apply God’s word.

Showing Up as a Family in Church Community

Q4: Tell us what you believe is important about involvement in church and community – beyond Sunday attendance?

I often use the term “spiritual family” to describe our church community. I know family means very different things to each of us. For us, being in a family means we make an effort to spend time together, have meals together, go on outings together, serve each other, challenge one another and show up for one another in tough times. It is in those moments we share together that we experience the love of Christ and also demonstrate to our children what God’s family is like.

Q5: How has being part of a church community shaped your family’s faith, values, and rhythms?

After a recent Sunday service (where one of our previous senior pastors came back to preach), I turned to Johann in our car ride and said, “Wow, I didn’t realise how much of Pastor D’s teaching shaped my theology and values!” Pastor D was our senior pastor during our formative years as a Christian and so much of what he taught over the pulpit has shaped our worldview and our values as a couple and as parents.

As we grow in a small group with other parents, we also influence and learn from each other as well as we cheer each other on in this journey. I daresay that we have picked up and shared with each other some good practices as well along the way.

Q6: Were there seasons when showing up felt difficult or inconvenient? What kept you anchored?

For sure! We have small group meetings on Friday nights and there are weeks that going home to chill and just rest after a long week feels alot more inviting. Especially since we have to deal with tired kids at the end of the small group session. But we have never regretted attending. Connecting with our small group members, refreshes us as we discuss how to apply God’s word, share our real struggles with it and pray for one another. The kids love spending time with the uncles and aunties and the other kids and always look forward to kids’ cell too. Seeing how all of us are socially and spiritually connected beats the physical tiredness we feel.

Q7: What challenges do you face when it comes to attending church regularly as a family — and how do you overcome them?

“The weekly commitment set means that we are intentional about it. We make every effort because we know that God works and speaks as we gather with our spiritual family.”

— Rachel

For us, we make it a weekly commitment. We don’t allow ourselves to compromise. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean we don’t attend to our needs; if we are ill and we need rest, of course we do that. But the weekly commitment set means that we are intentional about it, we make every effort to get ourselves ready and travel to service and Sunday School because we know that God works and speaks as we gather with our spiritual family.

Q8: How do you involve your children in church life and community?

Our children need to see us serving the Lord. They need to see what it means to love others in our community and give generously. There is this phrase that “more is caught than taught”, hence when we role model to them what service looks like, they too will desire to serve and give. My oldest, Noah, has led worship together with Johann for his Sunday School and even now after Johann has stopped doing so, Noah serves together with other leaders in the ministry.

Another way we involve our younger kids is to get them to keep others in prayer when needed. When their friends fall sick, need surgery, going through a major event, or even when we know that an uncle or aunty needs prayer, we update them and get them to pray together. Our kids attend funerals and wakes of our friends’ family members together with us and we explain to them what it means to support someone who is grieving.

Lessons & Growth

Q9: What have your children learned by watching your family show up in church community?

You will have to interview them for this question! Haha. I don’t think it is always explicit but I believe they do pick up lessons of sacrifice, responsibility, obedience and what it means to genuinely care for others.

Q10: How has consistency in showing up — even when it’s messy or imperfect — impacted your own spiritual growth as a parent?

God always meets us where we are. Always. We are definitely not perfect, and I must admit that I have dozed off during sermon time more than once (oops). There were times post-covid when the girls were under 3 and attending service with us that I barely caught what the pastor was preaching about — poonamis mid-sermon, an entire snack box of puffs all scattered all over the carpet, bouncing them to nap in the carrier with eyes still wide open… and the list goes on.

If you ask me, were there any regrets? I would say a resounding no. Because messy and imperfect is where God shows up. While I was bending down picking up scattered puffs (while wanting to dig a hole to hide my face), another fellow mum comes to help without judgement — instantly God’s comfort and assurance comes upon me. While my child falls asleep in the carrier and I manage to raise my hands in corporate worship, the presence of God reminds me He is never far. God always meets us in the mess, and reminds us that we are first His beloved child.

Encouragement for Other Families

Q11: What does healthy balance look like between serving faithfully and protecting your family’s rest and sabbath rhythms?

“Our calendars tell us alot about how we might be doing, what we might need to cut or do more of, and whether our boundaries are off course.”

Jesus, during His time earthside, was often busy, but we are all inspired by how he set aside time to pray and retreat. For us, scheduling makes a difference — even if it means scheduling rest times. Our calendars tell us alot about how we might be doing, what we might need to cut or do more of, and whether our boundaries are off course. From time to time we do take stock and evaluate, take small breaks across the causeway to connect with one another and with ourselves.

Q12: If there’s one thing you hope readers will take away from your story, what would it be?

When we choose to show up in our community, God shows up and meets us there. It can be messy, we might get discouraged or disappointed, but it is in those moments that we encounter God, our marriage encounters God, and our children encounter Him.

Key takeaways

Here’s the heart of what Rachel’s story offers us:

Community isn’t just “nice to have”; it’s spiritual family. It’s meals, prayer, shared burdens, and the necessary (though sometimes messy) work of showing up for each other.
Consistency builds spiritual muscle. Her family’s theology, values, and parenting rhythms were shaped over years of hearing the Word, receiving support, and worshiping together.
It’s not always convenient — but it’s always worth it. Fatigue, logistics, and tired kids make Fridays and Sundays tough… but the refreshment from community outweighs the effort every time.
Children learn more by watching than by listening. Serving, praying for others, showing compassion — these daily glimpses are molding her kids’ hearts.
God meets us in the actual mess. From scattered snacks in the service hall to bouncing babies in carriers, the holy moments weren’t found in perfect parenting but in God meeting us and using the people in our community to care for us, right where we are.
Healthy rhythms require boundaries and intentional rest. Her family has learned to schedule downtime, monitor their commitments, and take occasional getaways to stay grounded.

Put It Into Practice

This week, take a small but real step toward showing up in your spiritual community. Not the idealized “I’ll overhaul my entire schedule and become a new person” step — just one doable thing.

Maybe it’s going back to church after a long hiatus
Maybe it’s replying to your small group chat with “We’ll be there this week.”
Maybe it’s initiating a simple check-in with a mum friend who’s been on your heart

Pick one act of showing up — and commit to it. Even with wobbly steps, let God meet you in the messy middle.

A Prayer Before You Go

Lord, thank You for the gift of community — for the spiritual family You place around us to steady our faith and strengthen our hearts. When our weeks feel chaotic and our capacity runs thin, remind us that we don’t walk this journey alone. Teach us to show up with humility, with consistency, and with grace for ourselves and one another. Help our children see, through our imperfect efforts, the beauty of belonging to Your people. Grant that every small step we take toward commitment to our church community become a doorway to encounter You. Amen.

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