10 Things That Saved My Sanity in the Early Days of Motherhood
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The early days of motherhood as I remember?
They were a blur – a sleep-deprived haze of snuggles, spit-up, and wondering if I’d ever feel like a whole person again. It was a season of feeling broken in so many ways, both in my body and my spirit.
I remember staring at the clock at 3am, googling “how to survive newborn life” while rocking a baby who refused to go back to sleep, silently begging, “please sleep, mama needs to sleep too.”
If you’re in that foggy, soul-stretching season right now, mama this post is for you.
Here are ten small and simple but sanity-saving things that helped me not just get through the early days, but also slowly learn how to care for both my baby and myself.
1. A safe place to put baby down – minus the guilt
Long days at home of solo parenting while freshly postpartum meant that I had to inevitably leave my baby alone for a few moments to go pee or shower.
I would put him in the crib, ensuring it was a safe place with no loose objects, and then go do whatever I needed to do (even if he would cry).
Image credit Paul Hanaova via Unsplash.com
2. Meals I Didn’t Have To Think About
Besides eating lactation cookies and tears, actually having confinement meals delivered to my home was such a lifesaver. It meant hot, nutritious (and would you believe delicious) meals I didn’t have to think about. I went with Tian Wei Signature @tianweisignature (not sponsored) and found the portions generous with sufficient variety that I didn’t feel sick of eating the same thing on repeat.
3. Babywearing
As soon as I could figure out the wraps and carriers, I was babywearing my son all day. It freed up my hands to do so much more around the house, and even venture out of my house for a much needed breath of fresh air.
4. Following a rhythm, not a schedule
I looked up some suggested sleep schedules for each month my baby grew older into to have an idea of how much sleep my baby needs (roughly) and what his wake windows were (roughly).
Taking Cara Babies was such a valuable resource to me at that time. I knew that my baby was a person and not a robot, so the schedule wasn’t to be followed to a T. I still looked out for his sleep and hunger cues.
But armed with the knowledge, I could start building a rhythm that helped me and my family know what to expect, how to anticipate what baby needed, and create a predictable flow that provided much needed stability – and sanity!
Armed with the knowledge, I could start building a rhythm that helped me and my family know what to expect
5. Letting go of the to-do list
I kept feeling bad that my family had to pick up after me – washing bottles, doing baby laundry, dishes, and that my husband would be doing grocery or errand runs to get items that my son needed.
Eventually, I learned to let go of the “I should be doing more since I’m home while everyone’s at work” notion and started embracing that this caregiving that I’m doing for this precious little one is also valid, though unpaid, work!
It’s often said that raising children takes a village – in my case, I had to learn to let people become my village, against my ingrained self-sufficient tendencies.
6. Catching up on sleep during the day
It really irks me when people say, “oh just sleep when baby sleeps” like there’s nothing else to do but devote all my waking moments to watching the baby!
Eventually, I learned to let go of the “I should be doing more since I’m home while everyone’s at work” notion
Yet, I soon also learned that since I was waking up multiple times a night to feed him, it wasn’t practical to not catch up on sleep somehow during the day.
In line with number 5 above about letting go of my to-do list, I started catching winks at one or two of my son’s naps during the day.
With a predictable flow to the day shaping up, I was able to find the sweet spot timing of the day to lay down and catch my zzz’s while my baby was safely sleeping in his crib.
I was definitely functioning better as a better-rested mama.
7. Connecting with fellow mamas
I joined a chat group for mamas with similar EDDs, and the community there was so helpful!
We were able to compare notes (not competitively, but collaboratively) about our babies’ development and shared in our fellow mama-in-the-trenches struggles.
I learned many helpful tips, picked up great deals and product recommendations, and felt connected to a group of people who just got me.
I also had a close circle of friends who became mothers before me, and often sought their advice and expertise. Their seasoned motherhood assurance brought me great comfort, and they often reminded me to draw strength from God. It was great to have great examples of godly mums in my life to be inspired and encouraged by.
8. Putting on worship music
To be completely honest with you, while caring for a baby is a beautiful thing, at many times I found it just downright boring! It’s feed, play, sleep, change diapers, all on repeat.
Though it brought me great joy to witness the many changes and milestones my son achieved, in between those moments were greatly ordinary and mundane days.
“Though it brought me great joy to witness the many changes and milestones by son achieved, in between those moments were greatly ordinary and mundane days.”
These were made sweeter and better when I could put on some worship music in the background. The lyrics fed my soul while the music soothed the atmosphere.
Now, years later, I attribute my son’s musical sense to those early days when our lives were filled with music.
9. Giving up breastfeeding (this is a controversial one)
Oof, this is a tricky one to talk about because I wouldn’t in principle outrightly encourage another mama to give up breastfeeding. We all know the science and the facts on the benefits of breastfeeding. Still, hear me out.
For me, a combination of difficult recovery and home logistic factors made breastfeeding overly time-consuming and sanity-gnawing. My mental health was suffering because I was forcing myself to feed and pump, all with little success.
It all came to a head when I realized I spent more time and effort getting milk out than I did soaking in spending sweet moments with my son. I gradually decreased my pump frequencies till there was virtually no more milk left.
I still remember writing, “this is the last packet of milk dear son” for my freezer stash, had a good ugly-sob-cry about it, and then moved on. I experienced so much freedom, way more time, and enjoyed being a mom once I allowed myself to quit.
10. Sharing the load with my husband
There were many times in those early days when I felt resentment quietly building in my heart. I’d hesitate to share my struggles with my husband — afraid I’d sound negative, like I was complaining, or worse, just plain whiny. So I held it in. I told myself I was being strong, but the truth? All that holding back only widened the gap between us.
At one point, I even caught myself thinking, “What’s the point of being married with a kid if I’m the only one handling the kid?” It was a terrible thought, born from burnout and resentment — and not at all true.
Because life after baby isn’t just about baby—our marriage matters too.
Eventually, I began opening up to my husband. Most times, all he could do was listen. But that listening? It mattered. It helped him notice where he could offer more support. And slowly, he made little changes — nothing grand, but every tiny gesture reminded me I wasn’t doing this alone.
He would often say, “Hey, we’re on the same side. Let’s be a team.” That line stuck with me. It reminded me that this wasn’t my burden to carry alone — it was ours. We were in this together.
There’s honestly so much more I could share about this topic, but for now, let me just point you to Thriving New Mama. Her content is an amazing resource for new mums navigating marriage after baby. Because life after baby isn’t just about baby — our marriage matters too
If you’re in the thick of those newborn days, or even just trying to catch your breath in the chaos of toddlerhood…
… I hope this post felt like a gentle pat on your back whispering, “Hey, you’re not alone. You’re doing great.”
These were small, simple things that kept me afloat — maybe some of them might serve you too.
Motherhood isn’t meant to be survived in silence. It’s meant to be shared and celebrated — in community, in prayers, in stories, in honest messages sent while rocking a baby at 2am.
So if you need someone to sit with your story, or just want to swap mama wins (and woes), I’d love to hear from you.
You can find me over on Instagram @thehearthmakers or email me at samantha@thehearthmakers.com. I might be replying with one hand while wiping down a high chair the other, but I promise I’ll get back to you.
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